Yesterday after my boyfriend had just come home from work, we chatted for a bit, then I told him I wanted some me time. He totally understood and went upstairs and left me downstairs to enjoy my alone time. His mom, who happened to be prying from the other room, said "Don't think you think that was kind of mean?" and I was like, "Why? Everyone needs some alone time now and again." To which she replied, "I never wanted alone time until I had kids."
And it just made me think.
What's wrong with being alone? I had a lot of issues growing up (with my parents getting divorced) so I spent a lot of my time alone. I learned to find things to do by myself. I learned to appreciate and enjoy my own interests, even if no one else shares them. When I went away to college for the first time, I found this skill came in useful. I didn't make any real friends till my second year of school. The first year I spent making my own habits, finding things I like to do, and enjoying that college for what it had to offer to me.
When I first got into a relationship it was hard at first, giving up a portion of my me time. It took a while to adjust, and I had anxiety sometimes that if I had asked my boyfriend for me time he would feel like I was pushing him aside. But finally I told him how I was feeling and he completely understood. And now three years into our relationship I can just say politely, I want some me time, and he will let me have it. And I do the same for him.
I think it's good to have an appreciation for yourself and your own interests, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone sometimes. I think more people should realize that. Also we should respect other peoples desire to be alone, because there's nothing wrong with that.
I write this because I've been spending a lot of time at my boyfriends house during all this craziness, and his mom clearly does not understand my desire to want to be alone. She constantly talks to me, even when I try to politely tell her I want alone time. She never stops talking and it drives me crazy. Maybe I just don't understand wanting to be constantly extroverted. Sometimes I just want to be alone.