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Calicara

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I don't think I ever posted anywhere, but my actual computer has been out of commission since Mid-April. It just stopped charging, and the only charger I could find for it ships from China so it won't be here till June. I've been using this crappy notebook computer my boyfriends mom let me borrow, but it is slow and not conducive for drawing.

I also lost my stylus that I bought for my other computer which is touchscreen. So I'm considering buying a tablet, possibly an iPad. I used to love drawing on the iPad in my undergrad. I have been doing a lot of sketching in my notebook with all my free time, but I really want to use colors, and digital coloring is cheaper than buying copic markers. So, we'll see.
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Alone

3 min read
Yesterday after my boyfriend had just come home from work, we chatted for a bit, then I told him I wanted some me time. He totally understood and went upstairs and left me downstairs to enjoy my alone time. His mom, who happened to be prying from the other room, said "Don't think you think that was kind of mean?" and I was like, "Why? Everyone needs some alone time now and again." To which she replied, "I never wanted alone time until I had kids."

And it just made me think.

What's wrong with being alone? I had a lot of issues growing up (with my parents getting divorced) so I spent a lot of my time alone. I learned to find things to do by myself. I learned to appreciate and enjoy my own interests, even if no one else shares them. When I went away to college for the first time, I found this skill came in useful. I didn't make any real friends till my second year of school. The first year I spent making my own habits, finding things I like to do, and enjoying that college for what it had to offer to me.

When I first got into a relationship it was hard at first, giving up a portion of my me time. It took a while to adjust, and I had anxiety sometimes that if I had asked my boyfriend for me time he would feel like I was pushing him aside. But finally I told him how I was feeling and he completely understood. And now three years into our relationship I can just say politely, I want some me time, and he will let me have it. And I do the same for him.

I think it's good to have an appreciation for yourself and your own interests, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone sometimes. I think more people should realize that. Also we should respect other peoples desire to be alone, because there's nothing wrong with that.

I write this because I've been spending a lot of time at my boyfriends house during all this craziness, and his mom clearly does not understand my desire to want to be alone. She constantly talks to me, even when I try to politely tell her I want alone time. She never stops talking and it drives me crazy. Maybe I just don't understand wanting to be constantly extroverted. Sometimes I just want to be alone.
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... but I am too busy with school to write anything substantial that's not a paper. I'm busy 5 days a week, and the 2 I have off I have homework. God I can't wait for grad school to be over.
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Vacation!!

2 min read
In just three short days I will be on a week long vacation! Huzzah!

I honestly haven't done too much art. I've done a few plastic canvas here and there. I also started crocheting a duck hat. I haven't finished, but I'll upload soon. I'm thinking about doing some amigurumi during the break. I want to make a reindeer, and possibly Link from LoZ for my grad school friend who is graduating this Winter.

I still have one semester of school left, but I don't mind since I'm local. (Commuting saves a lot of money!) But yea. After my week vacation I have one week of classes left then I get 5 WEEKS of vacation. Although I am trying to pick up a second job so I'll still have to work. But such is life. Anyway, hope all is well :)

EDIT: I forgot I have done some art. I have a private minecraft world called Duk Kingdom which I occasionally work on. It's a creative world. Mostly to help me destress. I've only shared it ocasionally with my BF though. It's getting pretty big. There is the Duk Kingdom and now I'm working on the Shep Kingdom. Eventually there will probably also be a Llama Kingdom, and a Cat Kingdom. One Kingdom at a time though!
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Obese Art

2 min read
Before I get into my argument, this is not meant to be a fat shaming post. I do not have anything against heavier people, people who are "thicc", or "curvy". This is a post about people who draw other people/characters that are 300+ pounds.

I do not get the obsession with obese art. I do not get why people like it, I don't get why people draw it, I don't get why people fetishize it, but yet everyday I see it on front page of DA. There is a difference between someone who is bigger, and someone who is medically obese. I have watched enough episodes of 600 lb. life to know that most people who are 300+ pounds are generally not happy people.

I think what disgusts me more than the art though it comments that often fetish these overweight people. People saying that they want a significant other that is large to the point of being immobile, and so they can take of them. At that point, no, you are not helping them. The only thing you are doing is helping them get closer to death from obesity.

And I am not anti-art. People can draw whatever they want, freedom of expression, etc... but I just think it's really problematic to show these unhealthy lifestyles as if it's something to aspire too. I also think it's disgusting for people to want to make other people be that way. It just irks me it so often shows up on the front page of DA. 

And I doubt many people will even see this journal, but I just really wanted to get it off my chest. I really, REALLY dislike the promotion and fetishizing of 300+ pound people. There is nothing happy, healthy, cute, or good about it.
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Featured

I want a tablet :L by Calicara, journal

Alone by Calicara, journal

I Wanna Write... by Calicara, journal

Vacation!! by Calicara, journal

Obese Art by Calicara, journal